Comment remark for Khadijateri's Blog

KhadijaTeri, once again, posted a very interesting subject on her blog. She commented that she took her kids to the Zoo in Tripoli and noticed that there were a lot of 'Business women" and sleazy guys hanging around (www.khadijateri.blogspot.com)

I wanted to post my remarks on my blog because I have a lot to say about that subject.


1. It is nothing new that there are a lot of unsavory men and women hanging out in public places in Libya, and a bunch of sleazy looking men following after ANY women like a pack of dogs. This becomes an issue because it is hard to tell who is who sometimes.

Even if a respectable women is out with her family or alone, they followed around and harrased. This makes families angry, and in turn causes men to now not allow their families to go out. It is a vicious circle. Never mind that you can't enjoy yourself at all.

We often "turn the other way" when we see someone doing wrong but shame a woman when the suspect she is doing wrong with no proof. We ignore the obvious and turn on the innocent.

When we see young girls and biys doing things they shouln't, we should step up and say something.


2. Men should stop putting pressure on their women, sisters, mothers, daughters and cousins to stay at home because they don't want them seeing what is going on. They don't want any one looking at them or making comments to them.

We should put pressure on non-self-respecting people to go somewhere else and make more public area's for families only (as Khadijateri said). They should be hidden away and not us.

Just think about it. Women and kids are encouraged to be cooped up and tucked safely away at home, getting bored and unhappy. They take it out on the husbands and the husbands run from the home into the streets.

These things are going to happen no matter what, that is the way of the world. It is sad to me that the "ugly" side of society is allowed out in the open while the beautiful part of Libya is locked away behind closed doors.

When our kids leave the home, this is what they will see instead of families or individuals that promote the better things in life. This is why you see more and more teenagers harassing people in the street.

When a stranger walks down the streets they think this is how normal Libyans behave. Why do we want to protray that image of our society?


3. People should not expect too much from a man when he is coming to ask for a woman's hand in marriage. There are so many young people that do not get married because families demand too much from a groom's family or vice versa.

This leave a big gap in society of married couples and leaves more room for people to be tempted to do things they shouldn't. Families should help each other out more as in the old days and young couples should agree to live with the families if necessary. This can help them get started.

It is nice to think that you are going to be able to brag about what you are getting from the other family, but practically, it is not realistic. So there are a lot of long, non-fruitful engagements, and people who can't afford to get married. The desperation this causes opens the door to a lot of wrong choices. Human Nature.

4. Talk to your children about what is going on. All over the world people tend to bury their heads in the sand. When Libyans see something wrong, they try to protect their children from it (natural), but instead they should explain to the children what they are seeing and what causes people to be like that.

Teach the children to work hard in the opposite direction.

I am not talking about just saying "haram" in a disgusted way and leaving it at that, but explain in depth. Explain to them what it is, what causes it and how it would make you feel if that was them.

When we don't explain propperly, they might not recognize temptation when it knocks at their door and may not know what is happening until it is too late.